"Sidd's Dream," or ...
How I Learnt to Stop Worrying, and Love The 'Bahn !

I.

There lived a man named Job in the Kingdom of Newt; and, he feared GOD; and, he obeyed the Law of Newt; and, he grew fat and prospered thereof.

II.

And, GOD looked upon Job and said, "This is an insufferably smug bastard and needs shook up," and sent the Devil into his life.

III.

The Devil came unto Job with a glass face (which some called Computer) and upon his face was writ many lies in bright colors with bevelled edges.

IV.

For these were the days of the power and dominion of the Antichrist, Bill the Gates (accursed be his name) who had made many such lies in mockery and in scorn of the mighty works of the LORD.

V.

And, Job believed the lies, and was amazed, and led into the Wilderness of Mirrors. The Devil showed unto him the riches of the worlds dislayed before him.

VI.

And, the minion of the Devil, Bill the Gates (accursed be his name) promised him much fame, and power, and glory ... if he would but use his tools and sing his praises.

VII.

And, Job was snared in Webs of Deceit; and, he was mired in Nets of Lies; and, he was trapped in the Wilderness.

VIII.

And, he would neither leave the computer for food, nor for drink, nor for drugs, verily neither would he leave for Rock 'n' Roll. Rather, he sat bedazzled by alt.folklore .urban, and talk.bizarre, and rec.pyrotechnics.

IX.

And, his wife grew fat and slatternly; and, his children grew Nazi and rude; but, he would not be moved. For he was now descended into the pits of talk.politics, and soc.culture.*, and alt.bestiality.hamsters.duct.tape. And, they had his mind in thralled.

X.

GOD looked upon Job and knew he had fixed the son-of-a-bitch, but good.

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